Clifford and Norm's
2010 New Year's Resolutions


 

I (fill in blank) hereby resolve to:

  1. QUALITY TIME - Spend more quality time with the special people in my life, the loved ones who really matter, which, come to think of it, is pretty much me.  So even more "me" time in 2010.

  2. SELF-LOVE - To that end, give myself permission to love myself again, and most importantly, act on it.    Shower myself with affection on a frequent basis.  Arrange romantic candlelight dinners with myself where I will read from sonnets proclaiming everlasting love and devotion to myself.

  3. FINANCIAL - Sell all stocks and shift funds to online gambling sites that provide a more secure rate of return. 

  4. ADDICTIONS - Confront gambling addiction.  No wait!  That’s too confrontational.   Nurture gambling addiction.

  5. FASHION - Get a new look, or for that matter, get some sort of  look.

  6. COMMUNICATIONS - Improve my listening skills, or at least my "pretend to listen" skills, or maybe just nod my head once in a while.

  7. NETWORKING - Work up to connecting to 10,000 new friends on Facebook. Ask each of them for a $1,000 loan secured by my Facebook wall.

  8. CONSUMPTION - Consume less gasoline, and consume more ethanol - and any other alcohol-based liquid.

  9. BAD HABITS - Get rid of some of those bad "around the home" habits - for example, when accidentally crushing a potato chip or corn flake that has fallen to the kitchen floor, grab a broom and actually sweep it up and throw it out -  avoid the normal method of picking it up with my fingers and eating it.

  10. GO GREEN - Emulate the Hollywood stars by doing something constructive about global warming - even if it is merely an empty, symbolic gesture.

  11. POLITICS - Remove McCain-Palin poster from front lawn and replace with “Middle Aged Balding Guys Seeking Bail Out, for Obama” poster.

  12. VICES - Quit smoking once and for all.  This should be doable as I do not presently smoke - always advisable to have at least one realistic resolution. 

Happy New Year from
The Clifford and Norm Show
at cliffordandnorm.com

 

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